People often ask me, “Isn’t it hard listening to people’s pain all day?” and yes, it can be. Sitting with grief, anxiety, trauma, or long-held emotional wounds isn’t light work…and what people don’t always see is the other side of it: the human connection, the quiet strength, and the small but powerful shifts that happen in the counselling space.

   Thanks to the cognitive process called negativity bias in us humans, we tend to focus more on controversial and negative events and information. Fuelled by social media and our affliction for being consumed by screens than spending time living in the present moment, we unknowingly orient our minds to being overcritical and/or overwhelm it with the aim of protecting ourselves. As a result, we are quick to judge and spend most of our energy on noticing the red flags or deal-breakers in a relationship. We fail to see the good in others and do not value the green flags enough, which signal positive actions or traits required to build a strong foundation for a thriving relationship.